I testify to you that seeking after and following the guidance of the Holy Ghost is always the best way to plan and live your life. You were already given the gift of the Holy Ghost when you were confirmed a member of the Church, and if you will use that gift, it will be a huge help in all that you do.
New Fish Friends.
It was fun to watch all of the kids work together to get the tank cleaned and refilled with water for the new fish.
Week 4:
I was asked to speak in the Adult Session of our Stake Conference this past week so that combined with one packed month as I was juggling two callings for church with the Young Women's and Boy Scouts with a Court of Honor, FHE was simplified this week with time spent together as a family. Bre had to cheer at a basketball game for playoffs and so the rest of our family went out for dinner (this has became a tradition this month Monday Night Dinner Out with the Fam!) But can I just say so nice after cleaning the home all day long? Getting things back in order around the home front after a busy week with laundry, straightening/organizing, bathrooms, kitchen floors, vacuuming...always so rewarding as a clean and organized home but makes for an exhausting day especially after being up all night with a teething feverish little one...which brings me right into my talk which I'll share- might I mention it wouldn't have been my topic of choice as it was very specific and one I would have never choose on my own (at first I was thinking, what am I going to say on this for 15 minutes?) but after prayer and pondering I was able to make it work and I was actually struggling to condense it to 15 minutes:) lol
Topic:
"How to make the Sabbath at church a delight, especially focusing in on
young mothers."
So one of
the first ways I started pondering ideas for this talk was I googled the topic
online of course, because you have to love the internet. Oddly enough with the exact topic googled...
contrary to my topic I found a particular blog for
-Many
exmormon mothers venting that they had actually left the church due to their Sabbath
day at church being so stressful and far from a day of rest from dealing with
their children, giving lessons and being solo if their husbands were in
meetings all day long. Not good, actually really sad... but the thing that I
noted being a big factor was that in several cases the mothers mentioned that
they were basket cases and exasperated well before even leaving the home for
church.
President
Spencer W Kimball saw the Sabbath as a day for active, joyful worship—a time to
leave behind the things of the world and to fill the day with righteous
activity. Quoting scriptures, he encouraged the Saints to make the Sabbath “a
delight” and to approach the day with “cheerful hearts and countenances.
To approach
the Sabbath day with a cheerful heart and countenance, I believe Preparation is
key. If things are well planned it will help your day to run smoother and to be
less stressful and frantic. If we wait until Sunday morning to prepare, odds
are you won't be able to have the kind of Sabbath morning leading into Sabbath
day that Lord has intended for us to have
With the
Sabbath day, in many cases the truth of this matter is that many of the demands
of preparing fall upon the Mother. Saturday evening above and beyond the
obvious of baths being taken, clothes laid out, socks and shoes matched, the
diaper bag, sacrament books packed, lessons prepared, one mother stated “If I
go into Sunday without a clean house, without cupboards stocked, without gas in
the car then I can forget any hope of a joyful, refreshing Sabbath."
I could
totally relate with her. In our home, two small yet major chores that I now
make sure are done on Saturday evenings are the dishwasher ran and emptied and
the trash taken out. It may sound silly because these are small tasks but left
undone, then come Sunday morning with everyone getting ready for church we have
trash overflowing on the floor because everyone thinks that they can fit that
much more in the trash can instead of taking it out and dishes are piling up in
the sink because the dishwasher is full or if it's been ran no one wants to
empty it out. If these little tasks are taken care of beforehand, it helps to
keep everything clean and orderly which invites the spirit into our home then
in turn helps with a cheerful heart and countenance on the Sabbath. Every home
is different but I know that little things in the preparation department can
make a big difference come Sunday morning to assist in keeping moods and
countenances cheerful.
Fathers and
Children who help out with Sabbath Day preparation and during church instead of
leaving it all to the mother bless the lives of their families immeasurably. As
for single parents, coordinating and delegating assignments works just as well
for them as it does for couples.
Another
pattern is to follow the Lord’s counsel to prepare Sunday food “with singleness
of heart.” (D and C 59:13.) Some families simplify the work involved in
preparing Sunday meals by preparing part of their dinner ahead of time; others
serve only simple meals on Sunday. By doing our shopping for Sunday meals the
other six days of the week, we not only prepare ourselves for the Sabbath, but
we also help others who might otherwise have to work on Sundays. I know that
our ward members are avid believers of this because if you didn't know better,
come Saturday night you'd think that shopping at the Sumner Fred Meyer was our
designated on going ward activity night as many members are getting the last
minute items for Sunday dinner, Bishop included.
So with
young children, no matter how well you plan- it's just inevitable that there's
going to be the unexpected. Spills on church clothes as you're trying to get
little ones fed lunch in time for 1 am church, little ones having melt downs, a
blowout diaper that arises simultaneously as a toilet is overflowing in the
bathroom for another child right before you're headed out the door, everyone's
is in the car- you're half way to church and you realize you forgot to push
start on the crockpot that's filled with Sunday dinner sitting on the counter,
or you get to church only to find a text message reminder on your cell phone
for a primary talk that one of the little ones forgot to tell you about. When
the unexpected happens because you better believe it will, I know we've all
heard this quote but the main thing to remember is to "keep calm and carry
on." If we choose to lose our cool and let the frustrations that arise get
the best of us, Satan will be happy...he has succeeded. We need to remember we
have a choice on how we react, losing our cool, raising our voice, letting our
temper and stress get the best of us is not going to change the fact that we
still have to put the baby in the tub and redress her again from the blow out
diaper and to get the bathroom floor mopped and taken care of from the
overflowed toilet. Stay calm, do what you need to do, get the job done and
proceed. You may be late for church but you can only do what you can do,
everything will be just fine.
I love the
quote by Marjorie Pay Hinckley
“The only
way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to
laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”
I've also
heard the quote and I'm not sure who said it but:
“The Lord knows His people by where they are
found on Sunday.”
A few may
know this already but a few years back, for quite some time, I knew that the
spirit had been trying to tell me something but I didn't know what it was. In
the quiet moments, there would be this nagging feeling that I just couldn't get
over I didn't know if I was being warned that something was going to happen or
I needed to do something. It was a really busy time, I was primary president,
it was at the end of the summer right before school was going to start up for
the fall and this year we would hit preschool, elementary school, middle school
and high school with seminary so we were in the middle of getting all of the
dentist, eye doctor and yearly physical appts, school shopping, new year
orientations and so forth complete so there wasn't too much down time and it
wasn't all of the time but in the quiet moments as I laid in bed at night or
when I had a few minutes to myself that I just couldn't relax, the spirit was
definitely trying to tell me something and this nagging feeling would keep on
recurring. So over the course of the next few months, I contemplated what I
needed to be doing and what the Holy ghost was trying to tell me, I thought
maybe I was supposed to focus on temple work maybe an ancestor need their
temple work done, or possibly I was supposed to share the gospel with someone
in particular or maybe we supposed to move- there was a time I thought maybe it
was just anxiety or hormones, I was just getting tired of this nagging feeling
over my head. When finally one day while talking on the phone to a good friend,
I expressed this feeling and she said well maybe you should really pray about
it for more direction. Hmmm, pray about it, such an obvious solution...not sure
why I hadn't thought about specifically praying about it before. So as I
earnestly asked Heavenly Father to please help me to know what it was that I
was supposed to be doing and for more direction, it wasn't more than a week
later that "ask and ye shall receive," it hit me like a ton of
bricks. It was the last thing that I had thought I was trying to be told and
when my answer came, I was at the grocery store out of all places. Needless to
say that you do not have to just be in the temple to get your inspiration. I
know that the Holy Ghost often answers our prayers and prompts us in the course
of our everyday lives. So at that very moment, I knew that after we made it
very clear to everyone that we were finished having children, that no just
kidding our family was not yet complete. There I was- headed out of the grocery
store with a cart full of groceries, crying like a crazy woman. I didn't know
if I was crying because the witness from the spirit was so strong or because I
was thinking no, I am finished having kids, I'm too old for this! It may sound
silly because with our other children they were all a year and a half to two
years apart, well planned out, but with this one for some reason it was
completely different, our youngest at the time was almost five years old and I
was fearful to start over. The thoughts of gaining 60 pounds, constant
nauseousness, varicose veins. pregnancies are rough- then genetically our
babies have very sensitive tummies and wake up every 1-2 hours through the
night until after a year old so the thought of going through the walking zombie
years all over again then even worse trying to explain to my husband that
surprise we are supposed to have another baby. It may sound insignificant but
to me at this time it was a little overwhelming. Soon after that witness, I
attended a Relief Society broadcast and I remember President Monson gave a
wonderful talk that I felt spoke directly to my heart, when he spoke on
replacing our fears with faith. That talk was such strength for me and exactly
what I needed at that time. I just needed to get over myself and to have the
faith to know that the Lord would provide a way with his plan for our family as
he always had in the past. So with a five year gap from our youngest at the
time, our little tie breaker Saydee our 7th child arrived and joined
her three brothers and three sisters. She was welcomed with much love and
excitement into our home and to this day everything she does is just so cute in
the sight of her parents and siblings alike, she can do no wrong...of course we
couldn't imagine life without her! She's now a year old and come Sunday's I'm
often found back in the halls (just like the good ole days) chasing the little
one around since we all know the magic age of 18 months is when they go into
nursery. But with Saydee, we have all savored the little things and milestones
all of the firsts of life, the smiling and crying- lack of sleep and all, it's
just been so different with her. With our oldest turning 18 this year and the
realization that children really do grow up so fast and that they are only this
small once and then they grow up the attitude hasn't just been about getting
through and surviving the baby years but its truly been so joyful and
rewarding. I've got to add in this little tid bit that ironically, as I was typing
at the computer in our office slash toy room right in this very spot of my talk
(no joke) I had to stop and take a break because I smelt nailpolish. Saydee was
what I though playing right next to me however, with her new discovered talent
of climbing she had climbed up to her older sister Brooklynne's desk next to
me. Brooklynne's our six year old going on 16 and had polished her nails for Valentine’s
Day up to her desk a few days earlier so Saydee had climbed up to her sisters desk
and decided to paint her nails as well, needless to say she and the desk were
covered in a brand new bottle of red nail polish, thank goodness for polish
remover. But I think Satan must have been testing my remarks to see if I really
was enjoying and savoring all of the aspects of the baby years this round. Keep
calm, fix the situation and carry on... with young children we need to remember
D & C 121:7 “Thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small
moment.”
So, I know
many families in our stake like ours have multiple children and I also know
that sometimes having one child is often harder and more challenging than
having many children. I know life with children is not easy. Sundays are not
always easy, you are going to have your Sundays where you feel like everything
has gone wrong and why did you even bother?
I came
across an Ensign article from a mother of six whose husband was on the high
council and one Sunday as she struggled in the hall to comfort her fussy baby
in her arms and quiet the restless toddler at my feet, a sister walked by on
her way to Sunday School. She had seen her in the halls many times because that
was where this mother spent the majority of her time during church. The sister
laughingly said to her,
“I don’t
know why you even bother to come!” echoing the mothers own feelings of
frustration at the time.
In the
article, she went on to say, as I considered what that sister had said about
why I even bothered, I thought of my childhood. My father was not a member of
the Church and never went to meetings with the rest of us. Even though my
mother was alone, she always took my three siblings and me to church. Not
having a spouse with her had never stopped her from worshipping at church and
doing her best to participate.
Reflecting
on my own situation, I realized I would never neglect to meet my children’s
physical need for food each day. So why should their spiritual nourishment be
neglected because my husband couldn’t be with us all the time?
It also
became easier to go to church when I didn’t make the decision week by week. The
decision was made once and for all—every Sunday we attend church. I knew it and
the children knew it, so they didn’t waste time trying to find excuses not to
go. As the years went by, though some Sundays were still difficult, the
children began to learn how to sit quietly and listen to some of the talks.
Occasionally one of the children would even quietly whisper, “I liked that
story.”
Eventually
my children grew up and moved away to start their own families. My daughter
called once after a particularly trying day in church with her own toddler.
“Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to go,” she confessed. But really she
knew why. From lessons learned when she was small, she knew—on Sunday we attend
church.
Henry B Eyring
said, "However much faith to obey God we now have, we will need to
strengthen it continually and keep it refreshed constantly. We can do that by
deciding now to be quicker to obey and more determined to endure."
Luke 2:27
27 And he said unto them, The Sabbath was made
for man, and not man for the Sabbath"
In this
scripture The Lord wanted us to understand that the Sabbath was His gift to us,
granting real respite from the rigors of daily life and an opportunity for
spiritual and physical renewal. God gave us this special day, not for amusement
or daily labor but for a rest from duty, with physical and spiritual relief.
Moms don’t
stop to think about it. They just keep moving. “so do they really have the
opportunity for spiritual and physical renewal.”
President
Hinckley used to say. Sometimes Mom appears to be invincible, but her battery
could use a fresh charge once in a while, whether she admits it or not.
“Make the Sabbath a delight by rendering
service to others, especially those who are not feeling well, or those who are
lonely or in need,”
For those of
you who aren't mothers or if you are over the mommy years, serving those
mothers that are in need of a little extra help with small children can be a
great blessing to mothers on Sunday's at church, just lend a helping hand or
offer to hold a child, these gestures can make a huge difference. Sometimes
all’s a mother needs is just a few minutes of feeling the spirit to rejuvenate
her for the coming week.
A faithful
mother can pray for spiritual experiences to come on Sundays to help strengthen
her testimony and then learn to recognize when they do come both at church and
at home.
The key to
making the Sabbath a delight at church for mothers and family’s alike narrows
down to patience and prayer combined with preparation but not just on Saturday
nights, I know and testify that preparation needs to spread throughout our
entire week.
I’ll close
with remarks from Spencer W Kimball as he said it the best:
“… Behavior
learned at home determines behavior in Church meetings. A child who has learned
to pray at home soon understands that he must be quiet and still during prayers
in worship service.
“Likewise,
when family home evenings are part of home life, children know that there are
special times, not only at church but at home, when we learn about our Heavenly
Father and when everyone needs to be on his best behavior. …
“Parents
with small children sometimes have a difficult time helping their youngsters
appreciate meetings and keeping them from creating disturbances. Perseverance,
firmness, and preparation in the home are essential ingredients for success.”
I know these
things to be true. I love my Heavenly Father and I know that he hears and
answers our prayers. I’m so grateful for my husband and my family and for my
Savior and the plan of happiness and for the direction of Holy Ghost in my life.
I am thankful for the wonderful gift of the Sabbath day and I know that it can
be a delight for everyone even mom. I say these things in the name of Jesus
Christ Amen.
